Katlynne’s blog

okayyyyyyyy. update!

so atleast once a week i come to this page and start typing.. but then i decide i dont wanna do it. maybe ill try to actually post this one. lol.

okay. cant do it. but i will post lyrics that are pretty much the story of my life right now. and i bet you wouldnt guess why. you might think you're right, but its doubtful.

Miserable At Best, Mayday Parade.

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

Ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

...so ive been thinking a lot lately about 2008.  all i can really think of is my biggest regret and its REALLY bothering me.  ill get over it. i have to. it just kinda sucks right now.

i wanna go home.

yyyeah. so i havent been on here in over a month.  i've thought about it. butttt i just havent done it.

you dont really wanna know what goes on in my life. its not very exciting. haha.  right now i'm just getting ready for finals.  i'm doing this right now because i cant think of any other ways to procrastinate.

i'll put my to-do list on here.  its everything i need to get done before i go home for christmas break...which i am super stoked for by the way! 

ooohkay.

• annotative bibliography
• field report
• reading journals
• writing center consultation (only done because i couoldnt get an appointment) haha.
• book report on memory keepers daughter.
• portfolio
• cover letter
• return library books
• return mary's books
• read 17.5 protein synthesis
• homework on masteringchem.com
• psych notecards
• lecture questions
• asia map
• sell textbooks
• go to bookstore and buy sweatshirts
• call applebees and get on schedule
• buy semi-finals fbgame ticket.. GO PANTHERS!! =]

i need to get busy!! ahhhhhhh.

eff.

 DONNNNEEE!!!

hi! =]

alllrighty.  so pretty much everyother time i post i'm homesick.  buttt i do believe i'm starting to get over that. atleast for now. lol.  i called my mom on monday and told her that she needed to come get me, i didnt wanna be here anymore.  she told me that i had to atleast stick it out to semester.  so- here i am, but im staying.  ever since then i've been trying to be more positive--and i was just being a baby.  so for now, im here, and im okay with it. =]

so this week so far.  uhm. monday sucked. tuesday- my classes were cancelled--yayy!  i slept til like 11. haha. and then we had pride cry practice.  at pride cry i realized that im crusshiin. =] haha. butt dont tell anyone!  wednesday was cool. i had class. then i went to the adpi house and decorated shirts. then class... then we had pride cry.  it was tonnns of fun, but we didnt place for finals. =[ laame.  maybe ill post a video of our dance whenever erika puts it up.   uhmmm. today. i had class. and i got a take home exam that is SO hard.  but i think im slowly figuring it out.  too bad its due saturday at noon-does he REALIZE its homecoming weekend.!?  ugh. lol.

something thats been stressing me out-- i have NO money.  i got a check from work today for $99. yay!  annd ive had some company thingy taking money out of my account for 4 months, $24 bucks a month. but my mean maa called them today so that should all be back soon too. yay! lol

i went shopping today. =]  i got a cute outfit for tomorra.  man, i miss shopping. 

the rest of today... maybe work on my exam more?  uhm.  basic at 8.  goin to kaitlin's to make 'treats' for tomorrow. hah. then out? or erikas? whooo knows.

tomorrow. no class til 2!! woot woot. lol  so we might go shopping again haha.  so then class. then ii hopefully homework while erika is at work.  then getting ready. maybe homecoming pep rally. then ouuuuut! omgoodness gracious i am excited for homecoming! hah. then the game saturday.

everyone keep your fingers crossed that somehow i figure out how to do my exam. lol

have a lovelyyyyyyy weekend! mwahhh. =]

i wish i could do what i want to do.

HOkay so. (say it like in that video 'end of ze world') haha.

i'm in a super good mood.  i have been ever since... oh i dunno- ANTM!  lol.  ii love americas next top model. even tho clark went home today.  saadd.  she is no longer on top!  =[

haha.  i'm so excited to go home.  and i'm riding home with kelsie and im excited about that too.  shes a new alpha in adpi... and i havent gotten a chance to know her yet- so this will be a gReat opportunity! lol.

annnd!  i got an 88 on my world geo test!  yay!  my maa is proud. =]  lol

uhm. we had pride cry practice tonight. pride cry is a competition we do for homecoming where different groups just make up dances to songs and to the fight song.  adpi is teamed up with the sae's (a frat on campus).  everyone says that they are kindof a sleezy frat.. but they seem okay so far.  my partner is hilarious.

i cant think of anything else.

have a loveeeeely evening! =]

my finger nails.  they're beautiful i know.

and not neccessarily for mackenzie. but my fave shirt. lol

hello hello.  time for an update. my goal is to actually try to do this now.  it looks like another way to avoid doing homework. other than facebook and myspace- and the occasional email to my grandma. hah. =]

welll. let's start with school.  mmm.  i used to love it here.. at the moment-- not doin so good.  i hate being in a dorm.  i'm sick of being in the same little area for hours and hours.  i know i can go to the union or the library. but im sick of it too.  i wanna get out and drive. i need to get off campus. kiiinda hard without a car.

i joined a sorority. Alpha Delta Pi.  at times.. i absolutely love it.  and at times.. i think it was a HUGE mistake.  i really cant decide if i want to be there or not.  i really like most of the girls. they're amazing.  but there's also SO much drama.  between the girls in my sorority and other frats and sororities. or just within adpi.  i HATE drama more than anything else in the world.  its sooo annoying. i try to avoid it as much as possible.  and when i know that ive caused some kind of drama i feel even worse. i hate it. annd also. some of the more well-known girls in the sorority have the rep of being pretty slutty.  and they're like proud of it.  its annoying.  i dont want that reputation just for being in adpi.  its sooo hard.  but i just paid $375 sorority dues--so i guess i better learn to like it.

classes. UGH.  lets do this one by one.

world geography- pretty easy. so easy that sometimes i just really dont wanna go. but i do. i'm proud. lol

molecules and life- pretty easy also. but i need to go to it to understand. not really a problem. but i hate some of the students in that class.  they're just not very bright--they tend to think theyre still in middle school. hah

college writing in research-thats a toughy.  i have a paper i need to be working on for this class. and i just CANNOT get motivated to do it. i really need to tho.

computational modeling- i hate this class. its like a modeling/simulation class.  its so stupid. i will NEVER use this for anything in my life. and the teacher thinks its so important. nottt coool.

annd psych- i like this class. i just have it one night a week. its really long. but its not all that bad.

[[i should be doing homework--haha]]

BASIC.  this is the worship service that i go to on thursday nights.  i absolutely love love love it.  it stands for 'brothers and sisters in Christ'.  its one of the only things i look forward to every week.  its like a little glimpse of camp once a week. aaaaamazing.

so.  i've been REALLY homesick the past few days. since like.. last wednesday i think.  i dont know what my problem is but i feel like i'm being a huge baby.  i've been on the verge of tears constantly.  i just want to go home.  i feel like im having second thoughts about being here in general.  its just so overwhelming. but i know i cant go home cuz if i do.. one day ill regret it. and plus--if i go home... everything is different there anyways. so ill probably not like it there either. i hate change. i like to change my hair color- not my life. lol

erika durham. i absolutely freaking love this girl. i dont know how i have lived 18 years of my life without her. she is the only person that is keeping me up here right now.  we are so much alike. we have the same opinions about everything, she wears the same size clothes as me, annnd she's a christian.  i'm so glad i met her.

annd miss mackenzie corbin. its weird--but ever since we moved like 6 hours away from each other we've gotten so much closer.  we started to get really close at camp this year but it just keeps getting better.  i talk to her like every night.. and when i dont my day just isnt complete.  we're kindof going thru some of the same things right now and its just wonderful to have her to talk to.

im hoping to go home this weekend. i just need to find a ride.  not having a car SUCKS! brandon was supposed to come up and visit and i feel really really bad blowing him off. but i'm like.. so homesick right now that i'm physically sick.  it sucks. so bad.

okay. i'm going to stop complaining.  and i dunno when the next time ill update will be...this is a lot to take in.

i remember back in the dayyy when i used to have a xanga.  it was like.. my favorite thing in the world.  im not sure if ill ever actually update this but i guess we'll see. =] 

today was a prettty good day.  didnt do anything really. lol.  i carsided at work and that was lame as usual.  mama made me a bacon and mayo sandwich. i love that woman. lol.  thenn i went to maggie moos with two of my bestest.  Reed moves back to ames tomorrow.  im pretty sad. 

im watching cars with riley.  i love my little brother.  he was the cause of one of my breakdowns about going to college.  he wanted to go swimming with the neighbor because she babysits kids his age.  i was all upset because he was supposed to go swimming with me.  it sounds ridiculous but im kindof emotional right now. kindof reallly not wanting to move away. im pretty sure i can still register at scott til the 23rd.  ive thought reallly reallly hard about it to.

although i dont wanna move away... im still kindof excited.  i wanna see my dorm all set up. and meet Sam.  im thinking about doing sorority recruitment too.  i think thats something id like.  ii dunno!  i just wanna go to sleep and wake up and already be there annd loving it.  this suspense is KILLiNG me!  lol

i have a reallly bad headache, and im going to bed. maybe ill keep updating this- i kindof like it. =]